When a child struggles with both mental illness and addiction, it’s felt by the whole family. Professionals refer to addiction as a “family disease” for a reason: the stress and chaos of addiction create a ripple effect that disrupts the stability of the entire household.
This article explores the connection between mental illness and addiction, as well as what parents can do when a child’s mental health struggles and substance use are affecting the entire family. We’ll also cover the reasons why a child turns to drugs and alcohol to begin with.
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The Emotional Impact of Addiction and Mental Health Disorders on Families
According to the World Health Organization, one in eight people worldwide—approximately 970 million—lives with a mental disorder.
In 2024, the National Institute of Health (NIH) estimated that nearly 20% of the U.S. population struggles with some form of mental illness. The devastating impact of these conditions is evident in suicide statistics, which show it as the 10th leading cause of death in the United States and the third leading cause of death among 15 to 29-year-olds globally.
The sad truth about mental illness is that it often goes undiagnosed. Many individuals, especially young people, struggle with their symptoms for years without receiving proper treatment. And when mental health disorders go untreated, those affected may turn to substances as a way to cope.
Teens and young adults often use drugs and alcohol to self-medicate, to temporarily numb the pain and feelings of hopelessness associated with mental illness. Others use it as a way to escape reality, seeking relief from the overwhelming stress, trauma, or emotional turmoil they face daily.
How Addiction Changes a Child
Once addiction takes hold, a loving and kind child can become aggressive, manipulative, or emotionally distant.
At first, the change is subtle—the child may withdraw from family activities, seem more irritable, or struggle with sleep. Their behavior might be dismissed as normal teenage mood swings or stress. Johnny is upset because his girlfriend probably broke up with him, or perhaps he’s struggling with school. It’ll pass.
But over time, the signs become harder to ignore.
They may start neglecting responsibilities, losing interest in hobbies they were so passionate about before, or completely isolating themselves from loved ones.
Money may go missing, valuables may disappear, and lying and secrecy become common occurrences. They may also begin failing in school, quitting their job, or surrounding themselves with a new group of friends who enable their substance use.
Seeing a loved one slowly become unrecognizable due to mental illness and addiction is nothing short of heartbreaking.
Award-winning author Shawn Nocher puts it perfectly: “The experience of loving an addict is isolating, shameful, and excruciatingly painful,” she told Newsweek. “As a parent, I was whittled down from a whole person to fragments of raw emotion, guilt, blame, anger, and remorse.”
Without proper intervention, addiction can quite literally tear families apart. The cycle of mental illness and substance abuse feeds itself. Addiction worsens mental health symptoms, and untreated mental health issues fuel the need for substances.
Why Does My Child Turn to Addiction?
Addiction is often shaped by circumstances. Here are some of the most common reasons why a teenager or young adult develops an addiction to drugs:
Toxic Household Environment
If the child is actively living with a parent or guardian partaking in substance abuse, the chances of them succumbing to addiction increase exponentially. Exposure to addiction at an early age normalizes the behavior, and partaking in drugs or alcohol may be seen as a way to bond with parents or guardians.
Children may also consider substances ‘good’ or acceptable if they see a parent using them regularly and enjoying the effects. Over time, the child may internalize the idea that substances are a solution to problems rather than a danger.
Self-medication
Teens and young adults struggling with depression, ADHD, anxiety, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, or PTSD—both diagnosed and undiagnosed—turn to substances as a way to cope with their emotional pain.
They may have heard about the numbing or relieving effects of substances from peers or online and decide to give them a try, even while understanding the risks.
Mental Illness Due to Unresolved Trauma
Mental illnesses result from a combination of biological, psychological, social, and environmental factors. Some run in families, while others develop over time.
In particular, childhood psychological trauma—such as neglect, emotional, physical, or sexual abuse, or significant loss such as the death of a parent or the destruction of a home—can trigger or worsen mental health conditions, making a child more vulnerable to addiction.
Children who struggle to cope with psychological trauma may seek escape through substance use. Trauma lingers and festers, and the longer it goes unacknowledged and unaddressed, the more deeply it takes root.
Peer Influence and Social Pressure
Teens and young adults are especially vulnerable to peer pressure. If their friends or social circles encourage substance use, they may feel compelled to join in to fit in or avoid rejection. In other cases, teens may use drugs or alcohol to gain confidence, prove they don’t fit the societal mold, or appear ‘cool’ in front of other people.
Low Self-Esteem and Emotional Pain
Children and teens who struggle with feelings of worthlessness, loneliness, or self-doubt may turn to substances as a way to escape negative thoughts.
Drugs or alcohol can temporarily provide confidence, numb insecurities, or help people avoid difficult emotions. However, this coping mechanism often leads to a deeper emotional crash, reinforcing the need for continued substance use.
What Should I Do When My Mentally Ill Child Is Struggling With Addiction?
It’s important to recognize that addiction is often a symptom of mental illness. People with mental illnesses are twice as likely to develop substance use disorders and four times more likely to be heavy alcohol users compared to the general population. In fact, as much as 50% of people with serious mental illness have a co-occurring substance use disorder.
Teenagers and young adults who struggle with substance abuse need strong parental guidance, especially when their addiction is a result of a mental illness.
The problem with mental health and addiction is that those who struggle with them aren’t always willing to seek healthcare treatment. They may not believe there’s a problem to begin with, or that they can address the issue at their own pace without treatment.
Family members shouldn’t take these statements at face value. While trust is an important factor in family dynamics, there’s a difference between trusting your loved one and enabling their addiction or untreated mental illness.
When a person is in the grip of addiction or struggling with severe mental health issues, their perception of reality is often distorted. This is especially true in the early stages of addiction when substances haven’t taken a severe toll on their mental and physical health, and they only experience the “good” side of addiction.
Family members must therefore approach the situation with both compassion and firmness. Understand that although chronic, addiction and mental illness are treatable. With the right interventions—family therapy, medical treatment, and group support—many teens recover and go on to lead healthy lives.
Here’s what you should do when a mentally ill child is struggling with addiction:
- Establish firm boundaries: Don’t resort to ultimatums (“If you don’t quit we’re going to disown you”). Instead, let them know that substance use isn’t acceptable no matter the reason and that there will be consequences for dangerous behavior. Continued use of drugs in the home can lead to them losing certain privileges, like allowance, access to the internet, or freedom to go out whenever they want.
- Seek professional help: Research and familial support can only go so far. You need the help of a professional to help your child effectively cope with their mental illness and addiction.
- Listen to them: Often, lending an ear can make all the difference in the world. Let your child tell you how they feel and their experiences. Find ways to spend time together so you can naturally open a conversation without them feeling cornered or judged.
When Should You Walk Away from an Adult Child Struggling with Mental Illness and Addiction?
The topic of walking away from your own child—no matter their age—is an unpleasant one. Parents and caregivers instinctively want the best for their children, and never giving up seems like the most logical way forward.
But what happens when your love and support are no longer enough? When does helping turn into enabling? And when is stepping away the healthiest choice for both of you?
Here’s the hard truth: walking away is never the right answer.
Teenagers and young adults may resist help, but deep down they need structure, love, and intervention. Letting them deal with it on their own just prolongs their suffering. If you’re starting to feel overwhelmed, it’s a sign that you need outside help.
Don’t wait until the situation worsens—reach out for professional help today.
